“The next day John was again standing with two of his disciples and he looked at Jesus as He walked by and said, ”Behold, the Lamb of God!” The two disciples heard him say this and followed Jesus. Jesus turned and saw them following and said to them, “What are you seeking?”
As I re-read through this seemingly innocuous part of the Bible, I was cut to the heart. At first look these disciples are following Jesus. They hear from John the Baptist that this is the Lamb of God and they start to follow Him. Isn’t it obvious from their actions what they are seeking? They literally are following Jesus for goodness’ sake. Why would John even include this in His Gospel and why would Jesus even ask that question? What a strange couple of verses.
Then I challenged myself to re-read the passage a second and a third time while looking for more and hoping the Holy Spirit would open my eyes. And then it hit me, don’t I “follow” Jesus, but seek a zillion different things? Do I “follow” Jesus, by having a conversation at church with another Christian about someone who needs our prayers, when it really borders on gossip? Do I “follow” Jesus by serving in the church when I really am chasing after people’s affirmation of me? Do I “follow” Jesus because I’m working to receive some blessing? What hit me so hard is that I can do all sorts of things that look on the outside to be following Jesus, but on the inside my heart and the motives of my actions can be as rotten as the forgotten apple in the bottom of my refrigerator drawer? Oh my, where do I think I’m following Jesus, only to really be serving myself?
This question really gets to the heart of what it means to follow Jesus. Because if my heart is not seeking Jesus completely, it is so easy to get side-tracked while He is working to accomplish His purposes I my life. When things get hard when I follow Jesus, I may give up when Jesus wants me to press in to His purposes. When I seek the wrong things, I may as well be grasping at thin air. Jesus is the one I need to cling to, and Jesus must be the only one I seek. Seeking just like the seeking I did when I played the childhood game of “Hide and Seek”. I searched and looked intently. My focus was absolute and my goal obvious. I looked everywhere and was relentless. Let me that be our heart’s desire always – a relentless seeking of Jesus as we follow Him.
LORD please align my outward action of following Jesus to the motive of my heart in seeking Jesus. May my every act of service be a worship of a pure and undivided heart. Let me not forget to question my motives and ask You to expose any inconsistency. Help my every action of following You Jesus be an inward and total seeking of You. Amen