Bible verses God gifted me to encourage me during this season Isaiah 37:6 and Isaiah 42:16
God continues to radically work in my life through my cancer journey, teaching me how “impossible” is God’s specialty, God’s power is made perfect in weakness, and how He manifests the prayers of His people.Since the birth of my first child over twenty years ago, God drew me in to read His Words in the Bible daily. This seemingly simple daily habit seriously transformed me. By bringing my daily challenges to Jesus each day and asking for wisdom through the Scriptures I was reading, God always answered in Truth motivated by love. I would ask Him for wisdom in my sticky spots and God would cause me to see my role in those places which led to confession and repentance and life transformation. And at the same time He taught me that only I could control my actions and words and more importantly that I can’t control the words and actions of others or their responses to me. God grew me and stretched me to hear and obey the Holy Spirit regularly especially when my sticky situations felt “impossible.”
God used that daily Bible reading habit to graciously prepare me in advance of my colon cancer diagnosis in 2019. While I was reading Isaiah 37: 6 “Thus says the LORD: Do not be afraid because of the words that you have heard” God literally had the very words jump off of the page and into my heart. He impressed that those very words were just for me and that something terrible was coming my way. The feeling was so strong it literally took my breath away. And in spite of it, I was to hold fast to Him and the promises of Isaiah 37:6 that I needn’t be afraid of the words that I would hear. I had never experienced something like that before in my daily Bible reading time. To be honest, I wasn’t sure what to do with it. I only told my husband and we waited and prayed.
A couple weeks later, my older sister reached out to me and asked me when my last mammogram was and I told it had probably been a few years. She in her older sister fashion said get one immediately. So I did, but first I had to have a check up to get the referral. During that appointment, I mentioned that I felt really tired and the provider thought that I was really pale, so she ordered up a quick blood panel just to see if I was anemic. I was home from the appointment for only 20 minutes when I received a call from the clinic. I was to immediately go to the emergency room at the hospital for a blood transfusion. I was told that my hemoglobin was a 4.1 where the normal human range is 12 and above. Being non-medical, I didn’t realize how serious the situation was. I found out later that a 4 hemoglobin meant that I had 1/3 of the blood needed by the human body. I called my husband at work and he took me to the emergency room where I was given a blood transfusion while they ran tests and more tests. Tons of med students, nursing students, and doctors flocked to my room because I was a literal living miracle and because it was a teaching hospital it garnered even more attention. And I was completely and unabashedly able to give God the complete glory for this miracle. This would become a theme throughout my cancer journey. According to my medical friends, a 4 hemoglobin is “incompatible with human life.” It seemed very surreal to me because I even ran with a friend that very morning at the gym. Early in my cancer journey, God was showing me His Sovereign hand while at the same time giving me an opportunity to glorify Him through this unbelievable medical miracle. Through this tangible and visible reminder, God demonstrated His power and that only He controls life and death and “impossible” situations are His specialty. As a living testimony of His miracle in me, He allowed me to function even when I had not enough blood in my body. And the next verse He gifted me through my daily Bible reading was Isaiah 42:16 “And I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know, in paths that they have not known I will guide them. I will turn the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things I do and I do not forsake them.” This verse would become my repeating theme and God even gave me a melody to sing it. How gracious is our God to gift me this verse to fix my eyes on Him as I went through such a new place.
I was then admitted to the oncology ward of the hospital and scheduled for numerous tests as they worked to find out the source of my bleeding. As they rolled me by, I remember seeing the words oncology on the wall and thinking I don’t belong here. God gifted me peaceful sleep that first night in the hospital as I rested on the promises of His Words and marvelled at how a very personal God gave me real heart preparation in the words from Isaiah 37:6. Through God’s incredible provision, He allowed me to cling on to Jesus in faith and rest in the promises of God that He would even work this for good.
After waking up from anesthesia, the doctor told me that I had colon cancer with a sizable tumor located at the very top of my colon. An oncologist later told me that my tumor likely had been growing slowly and steadily for the past fifteen years. I was 44 at the age of my diagnosis. This tumor had been slowly bleeding which was the reason for my extremely low blood supply. My body wasn’t able to keep up with the constant bleeding and as a result had no iron stores, which is necessary in the making of blood. That day in the hospital was challenging because the hospitalist responsible for me left for the day before visiting me and explaining the results. We were left with only the rough memory I had of being told I had cancer right after waking from anesthesia. Nurses tried to bridge the gap and one actually filed a complaint against the doctor. It was a difficult evening. I was allowed to eat supper, but I remained admitted to the hospital without any real explanation as to why. Bright and early the next morning, a surgeon visited me and explained I would be having emergency surgery to remove a large part of my colon along with the tumor. My husband was still at home getting ready for work and spending time with our two children aged 14 and 13 at the time. This came as a complete shock to me as the surgeon explained the surgery and drew pictures on my hospital window with a dry erase marker. I called my husband and put him on speaker. I was uncomfortable going forward with surgery, especially because I had eaten. Colon surgery risks increase dramatically without an empty colon. And even more importantly, I didn’t have peace from God about continuing with the emergency surgery.
After my husband arrived at the hospital, we checked out of the hospital declining the emergency surgery. We went home to pray and research our options, one of which was the local university hospital. God gave me an immediate peace about one of the surgeons there who turned out to be a Christian. He referred to me not by name but instead “as the woman with no blood”. He was the former chief trauma surgeon at the university hospital spending his last few years before retirement as a colorectal surgeon. This second opinion turned into emergency surgery at the university hospital because the tumor was now even more actively bleeding. God blessed me with a successful surgery with very few complications. I went home 5 days later with a plan to start chemo 6 weeks later. The pathology report revealed the type of colorectal cancer I had as well as only 1 of the 23 lymph nodes removed showed evidence of its spread. Another unexpected finding was that I carried a gene that put me at a predisposition for other cancers. This gene required me to go under even more cancer surveillance and many more tests and doctor visits.
Chemo was another unknown door to walk through with my husband right beside me and our good God holding our hands. Unfortunately, my very first chemo resulted in a 6 day hospital stay for what turned out to be extreme toxicity. The amount of chemo given is based on body weight and the chemo dose was way too strong for what my body could take. I was admitted to the hospital with a 103 fever, diarrhea, and vomiting. I had never been so sick in my entire life.
Here is an account I wrote at the time:
“Here’s an update:
I’d like to share how God manifested your prayers this time. In fact, God woke me up at 3 AM this morning telling me to do just that.
(LORD, let these next words be your words and yours alone, in accordance with the message you gave me.)
As you may know, I was admitted to the hospital Tuesday night because of a fever that developed as a result of my first round of chemotherapy treatment. The first dose given is the max dose that can be given to a person like me based on my oncologist’s determination. Unfortunately, this dose proved to be way too high. I am now deemed highly sensitive to chemotherapy. This means I was essentially over-poisoned, and my body had a supreme temper tantrum. The toxic effects were constant fevers, inflammation of my entire abdominal tract and inability to fight infection due to my very low white blood cell count. I was essentially flat on my back feeling utterly miserable. The frequent trips to the bathroom required supreme effort.
What I didn’t realize at first was that this was an assignment from our amazing God. In fact, I rebelled against Him and that very idea. It wasn’t until I read a text from a beautiful friend in my Madison chapter of Bible Study Fellowship.
It read “May he be glorified through you beautiful Maggie. Your light shines bright for Jesus.” I remember thinking to myself, “How can I shine for Jesus when I’m feeling so sick and weary and quite honestly a bit mad at God for allowing such suffering to enter my life?” But our gracious God knows me and expected my initial rebellion and sent me my first sign post in the form of my doctor. This amazing doctor not only protected and supported my physical healing, he actually prayed over me and asked for help from our Great Physician. I even found out that this young doctor was homeschooled – just like my kids.
God started to get my attention and I recognized my rebellion, confessed it and embraced my assignment. Because of my sickness, numerous medical staff had to enter my room in their various and many duties to support me in my battle. The Holy Spirit flowed freely from my lips and hearts were open and receptive to the hearing of God’s love. The number of individual stories from this six-day hospital stay are amazing and testify to our God’s incredible power. There is one particular encounter God asked me to share specifically.
My wonderful Christian doctor was replaced on my third day by a science worshipping, highly-skilled, Mayo Clinic trained, physician. Despite all his knowledge, he couldn’t wrap his big brain around why my charts and reports were in conflict with my appearance. He actually said that to me. I remember thinking that’s because there’s no section in your charts and beliefs that account for the influence of our great and powerful God.
Although sleep was rare and my side effects were relentless, God continued to allow me to communicate as if I was spry and healthy. One person actually commented that I was glowing. But that wasn’t me. I was radiating the love and light of Jesus as a result of your beautiful prayers. God also gave me specific words to say to the doctor upon my discharge. “I will be praying, doctor, that God continue to bless you and your daughter abundantly.” At these words, this very worldly doctor practically glowed as he thanked me.
God’s blessings, friends. I can’t thank you enough for your prayers as I continue this chemo journey.”
God used that moment in my life to transform my mindset about my medical issues. From now on I know that He dictates my moments and days and that I need to surrender to Him and His plan for me. A constant prayer of mine as I enter is, “LORD, open my mouth to speak.” In the six years since I received my initial diagnosis, God has given me countless opportunities to share His love with my caregivers as a result of my dear friends’ manifested prayers.